Sugasm #110

This Week’s Picks

Sex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray


“Visibility on our own terms and the ability to uses our voices (and other mediums of expression) are key to the progress of sex worker’s rights.”

So Many Men, So Few Sluts

“Everyone wants to avoid generalizations about men and women, yet they’re too powerful to ignore.”

This Time

“She had That Look, and despite my earlier fatigue, I knew what was coming.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Hombre Magazine’s Left Handed Ads

Editor’s Choice

Love in an Elevator

More Sugasm

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See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Giving a woman a pedicure

I know this is primarily a blog on sex but I was convinced to put this up. A pedicure can be fun for you and a great treat for the recipient (naturally). You can give one to your significant other, a friend, even a family member, or anyone comfortable enough to have you handling their feet.

A professional pedicure at a salon can take about 30 minutes. Expect this one to take 1-2 hours depending on how long you spend on each step, so make sure you have enough time before you begin. There are a number of short how-to's on giving a pedicure available on the Internet, but what I have written here is almost the whole nine yards, with steps for each step, so be prepared for a read! Skip to any step if you just want the skinny on something in particular.

Things you'll need for a complete pedicure:

• Strengthening top & base coat
• Cuticle nail oil
• Her desired color of nail polish
• Metal emeryl or glass emery file
• Multi-step nail buffer
• Cuticle trimmer
• Cuticle pusher (rubber or plastic, not metal)
• Nail polish remover
• Nail clippers
• Pumice foot scrub (and optional stone)
• Foot salt soak
• Massage oil
• Non-greasy lotion or moisturizing cream
• Cotton pads and cue-tips
• Any nail art polish or stickers if you wish to add these
• Able hands, patience, and feet in need of pampering

Step 1: Get comfortable

• You should both be in comfortable relaxed clothing.
• Sit her some place that the both of you can be comfortable. You'll need to be positioned so that you can access her feet easily and go through all the steps. The couch or a comfy chair is the best place for her as you'll need her feet near the floor.
• Bring her a cup of hot coffee, tea, cocoa, or whatever she likes to help her relax.
• Light a scented candle with a relaxing scent such as lavender (or her favorite)

Step 2: Soothe her feet

1. A home foot spa is great if you have one. Most people don't have this so simply soaking her feet in a tub or plastic wash basin will do. Add the foot salt soak to warm water and stir it a bit to ensure it is dissolved.
2. Let her feet soak for about 15 minutes. It will soften and soothe them.
3. After soaking dry her feet completely with a towel. If you'd like, you can heat the towel up by putting it in the dryer for 5 minutes or sitting it folded over an air vent if the heat is on. Going from a warm foot bath to a warm towel will feel even better.

Step 3: Prepare her toes

1. If necessary, use the nail clippers to trim back her toenails so that there is about 2-3 mm or so of nail past the edge. Cut in a straight line, not a curve, to prevent in-growing toenails. Don't cut too much....you want enough there to paint!
2. File her nails with the emeryl file, arcing across the edge to mildly round out the toenail. Don't use it on the surface of the nail as emeryl files are often too abrasive, not to mention the metal edge can slice painfully into the cuticles. You'll need to hold each toe steady in turn so be careful not to squeeze it too hard.
3. Buff her toenails, edges and top surface, with the 4-step nail buffer. This will smooth out the nails.
4. Brush the cuticle nail oil onto her cuticles. Using your thumbs, gently massage the oil into the cuticle of each toe.
5. Trim of any bits of loose skin visible on the edges of the toenails using the cuticle trimmer. Do NOT cut the actual cuticles, despite the name of the tool.
6. Gently push back the cuticles using the cuticle pusher. You do this by sliding it across the back of the toenail against the cuticle. Some cuticle trimmers come with a cuticle pusher on the other end.

Step 4: Massage her feet

1. Prepare the massage oil by heating it in a small dish if you'd like. I recommend using KY Touch Warming Foot Massage, which you don't need to heat up in advance. You can activate the heat through friction (obviously) and also by blowing gently on the KY Warming variety.
2. Rub the oil between your hands to get them lubricated and to ensure it is warm (if you didn't heat it).
3. Massage each foot in turn using the oil. This should take 30-45 minutes. There are a number of good how-to's and videos on the web showing techniques for foot massage. Here are some general tips to keep in mind though:
   • If she is ticklish, go very slow and use pressure enough that the tickling isn't so bad.
   • You should use smooth slow strokes. This allows the tissue to better move blood.
   • The heel and ball of the foot can generally take more pressure.
   • Be careful how you hold her foot. Don't let your finger tips press into the tops. Try to hold it with your fingers flat.
   • Don't forget to massage her toes! Gingerly massage them with finger and thumb as if painting up and down with a brush between your fingers.

Important

It is recommend that you not give a foot massage to a woman who is pregnant. Pressing the wrong points can actually cause contractions to start in some women. Also, make sure any lotions or oils used are safe for pregnant women. Check the back of the bottle or box for warnings before use.

Step 5: Exfoliate her feet

1. Set her feet on a clean towel.
2. Put some pumice foot scrub into the palm of your hand and rub it around to get it warm before applying it to her feet.
3. Rub it across the top and bottom of her foot, including the Achilles tendon. Work each toe lightly and individually. Be careful not to apply too much pressure as you want to exfoliate the skin, not rub it raw.
4. Move to the next foot when the pumice foot scrub starts to create too much traction. The scrub will have broken up the cuticle and massage oil as well.
5. Using a warm wet wash clothe clean off her feet gingerly. You will probably have to re-wet it with warm water two or three times to completely remove the foot scrub grains. Don't forget in between her toes!
6. Use the pointed tip of the emeryl file to slowly and carefully remove any grit that has built up under the edges of her toenails. This is a delicate matter because the last thing you want is to slice into the skin under her nail.
7. If she still has some thick rough spots on the bottoms of her feet then use the pumice stone to smooth them out.
8. Apply the moisturizing cream to her feet to lock in moisture.

Step 6: Paint her toenails

1. Apply a base coat using the strengthening top & base coat solution to each toenail. Allow to dry.
2. Apply the first coat of nail polish in smooth strokes across the toenails, being careful not to get it on the skin, covering the whole nail. The smaller toes can usually be covered in one stroke. Don't go back over the coat of polish even it has just been there a few seconds as multiple unnecessary strokes can make the polish gummy and uneven.
3. Allow the first coat to dry completely. Blowing on the toes will speed this up a bit. It should not be tacky feeling when you apply the next coat or the tackiness will catch the paint brush as it is applied, making the coat look poor. While waiting on the nail polish to dry you can lightly massage her feet some more to pass the time, but be careful not to touch the nail polish.
4. Apply the second coat of nail polish and allow to dry completely.
5. Optionally you may try your hand at nail art using a nail art brush on the toenail of the big toe. You can use a cotton pad to wipe the tiny tip to the nail art brush when you need to switch colors. There are also polish bottles available specifically for nail art that have the art brush built in. I personally find that a nail art brush allows for better control though.
6. After any nail art is completely dry you will apply the top coat using the strengthening top & base coat solution.
7. Very carefully remove any excess nail polish from the skin around her toenails using cue-tips or the pointed tip of the emeryl file. Optionally she may wait until the next morning and just allow any excess polish to come off in the shower.
8. Apply any nail art stickers or jewels after the top coat is dry if you decide to.

Note

If she needs to get up, put some slippers or soft socks on her feet so that they don't get dirty while still doing the pedicure. As a nice added treat you can heat the socks up by putting them onto the end of a hair dryer for a few seconds. Obviously this can't be done if you are in the process of applying toenail polish that is still wet unless you have open toed slippers.

She should NOT do much walking until the polish is dried HARD. Otherwise the repeated pressing of the skin around the nail from walking can bunch up the polish at the edges little by little making an ugly mess. Stepping mostly with the heel of the foot can prevent this.

So there you have it! Hope it wasn't too much to take in! If you have fun (and still have a willing participant) you should be able to do more/better on subsequent pedicures.

....and who knows, that pedicure could take a more interesting turn for you both as it has for me before. Some ladies just love to put their well pampered feet to naughty uses. ;) Have fun!

Sugasm #106

This Week’s Picks

5 Advanced Deep Throat Techniques


“Suck your man’s penis into your throat, and, while it is deep in, start to hum.”

MILF = Men I’d Like to Fuck

“He knows my body p e r f e c t l y and knows exactly how to make me squirm with pleasure and always knows the right thing to say.”

Reconciling Desire & Reality (part 2)

“The excitement of sharing her, the excitement of my arousal THEORETICALLY should mean a heightening of our own sex life.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Our fearless leader tells me he’s crazy busy so I’m presenting one from the vaults.

The Six Types of Porn Movie (and How To Get Into Them)

Editor’s Choice

Primed

More Sugasm

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A nice sexy intermission

Fucking and fucking and fucking can get tiring and things will swell up and get sore. But what if you are still turned on and it still feels good? If you want it to continue but one or both of you need an intermission, avoid laying down or walking away to do something else. Keep it sexy, just tone it down a little.

Try switching off to using your mouth and hands for some light play. If one part is too sensitive to touch then work on another erogenous zone that got less attention. If everything that counts is a bit over pleasured then slow, light massaging with your tongue or hands on those parts can help relax and soothe, getting you or your partner ready for the next bout.

This is one of my personal favorites and a good way to keep the mood going. If you are still hard and she is still wet enough to get into, sit her on your lap, legs wrapped around you and slide her onto your cock. You can take this time to just make-out and very lightly shift around inside her.

Sugasm #105

This Week’s Picks

Bonbon

“I feel him start; then he groans into my mouth, a deep helpless sound, and I know I’ve got him.”

Domme virginity lost

I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You know that, don’t you, sweet boy?”

Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients

“From my conversations I’ve learned a number of things that have helped me, educated me and surprised me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Belladonna Likes Heroin

Editor’s Choice

Each Mirror has two sides

More Sugasm

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An orgasm faker wannabe

For a long time I never really understood why anyone would feel the need to fake an orgasm. If she couldn't cum or I couldn't get her off for some reason then no biggie as long as the sex was still fun. I didn't understand where the insecurities lie with a guy that couldn't make it happen. Though certainly my favorite part (hence the blog title) there didn't always have to be an orgasm for every encounter.

Then again, I had almost never had it fail to happen under my touch. They would almost always orgasm (or at least cum) and I could always tell when it happened because of the physical signs. I don't mean a hammed performance like Meg Ryan put on. I mean the sudden flush of blood across her skin, the convulsing muscles, her vaginal walls suddenly swelling with blood and becoming tight around my cock, her squirting, or me even getting pushed out while her cervix spasmed. What's more, I'd make sure that my partner knew to make me aware if she didn't get at least one climax. I loved them. For the longest time it somehow never occurred to me that women might enjoy seeing their partner get off and be as sexually fulfilled as they were.

I am not as sensitive down there as most men, so on most encounters it takes a lot of skill and finesse to get me off. Much more work is needed on me than the average guy. I came to realize this had actually turned into a self esteem issue with some of the women I had sex with on a regular basis. They would get off many times but most of the time I would walk away without cumming. I was used to this and have sex for the fun of it, not just so I can cum, so it didn't bother me all that much (not that I wouldn't prefer to cum, given a choice). I didn't imagine what kind of impact it could have on my partner, making her feel inadequate.

It kind of blew up in an emotional mess on a couple of occasions. Men can't effectively fake orgasms so the only thing I could do was to try to reassure that they were good in bed. That it was me, not them. Besides, I have a bad habit of utterly wearing out the women I fuck before I am anywhere near cumming, so after I have finally gotten the animalistic passion out of my system they are typically so out of it they don't have the wherewithal to do much.

I can sort of understand now why some women would fake an orgasm for the benefit of their lover's ego. Whether that ego stroking is just so they can get the crappy sex over with so he will give up or to make him feel like he did good because some times you just can't get off no matter how much you want to. Think this is sound reasoning?

How would/do you feel when you don't get off the man/woman that you have sex with? Not just once, but several times one of you walks away without reaching climax while the other is completely satisfied.

Delaying the inevitable

Sometimes you can have stamina and endurance enough to complete a triathlon but your cock just doesn't want finish a simple ride on the slip 'n slide. There are a number of tricks to use to keep yourself from popping your top earlier than your partner would be thrilled with and I don't mean by doing math lessons in your head or doubling up on condoms. There are much more creative and fun ways of going about the same thing.

Here are a few that you can use on the spot. These involve adding "spice" to give a change of pace to your cock. Incidentally these can add more fun to the experience for both of you:

• The good 'ol porn star dick slap. You know the kind, where he pulls out and lightly bats his cock against her ass, thigh, pussy lips, etc.
  
• The all way in, all way out, and stroke across her slit and clit. Just play with and tease her pussy with your cock for a bit.
• Stop stroking into her (even if that just means slowing it) but don't pull out, work her over with your hands and mouth, start stroking again. Alternate like this.
• Switch positions to give your cock a moment away from his best friend. There are many!
• Fuck at an angle that doesn't hit your glans (the most sensitive part of the penis) dead on.
  

Here are a few that require a bit of forethought:

• Senso sleeves instead of doubling up condoms. These add texture to your cock and unlike condoms, they are re-usable.
  
• X-Scream butter cream from Slumber Parties instead of something like benozocaine cream. Creates a chill sensation. For some women this feels wild but (in my experience) drives down sensitivity a bit for a man.
• A vibrating cock ring can help delay ejaculation. May not help much for some guys. May do just the opposite in fact, so your mileage may vary.
  

If you have already thought of these, or they just didn't work for you, add your own by way of comment.

Giving head without payback

I really love to go down on a woman. One of my favorite things. Many a times I have given head to a gal with no intention of getting anything back and then sending her on her way with a smile on her face. Sometimes I just get a craving for the taste of pussy and the sounds of her enjoying my meal.

I also know some women that enjoy giving head even if they know they won't get the favor returned (whether later or never).

I have to wonder if some of us never got past Freud's psychosexual oral stage. If I am not turned on in the slightest then the smell and taste of fresh pussy will get me going easier than anything.

So here is a little poll for you...



This little blog entry was inspired after reading a post at Polyamorously Perverse titled What To Do With Cum.

Six ways from Sunday - Cowgirl (reversed or otherwise)

This one is more for the women and should be pretty self explanatory from the title. You ride your guy like a cowgirl rides a horse. Hence the phrase, save a horse, ride a cowboy. Guys aren't really in control of this one. It is a good chance to feel fucked by your woman instead of the other way around.

Key word here is "ride", not "grind" ladies. Many guys have experienced it, where their girl decides she wants to ride him but instead just grinds into him. Us guys can't feel jack when you do this. I know it feels great on your clit to grind into his pelvic bone, and if he is long enough, to feel the tip of his cock rub your cervix. Really though, this isn't "fucking" in the true sense of the word. You want to bounce, grind, rock, and slide. If you don't do enough to keep his cock interested it might not stay hard as you'd like it.

Now guys, I did say we aren't really in control of this one, and you aren't, but you can help her out. Use some of the upper body strength most men are common for. Grab her by the ass cheeks and help her move! Bouncing her whole body up and down will really light those thigh and posterior muscles up after a while. This is your chance to do something other than playing with her breasts...or God forbid, just resting your hands on her thighs, which would basically make you as useful to the sex act as a dildo suctioned to a bench.

While doing a typical cowgirl position (not reversed, as in the picture), a variation on this is to lean all the way back and steady yourself on your hands. This causes his cock to position more at your G-spot. Then you bounce up and down in short quick bursts, tapping that hard cock into your G-spot. Guys, for your part in this variation, the top of her slit will be pushed up making her clit more easily accessible. Double her pleasure by taking your wet thumb, and pointing downward, position it on her clit. When you do this your hand should be right over her pelvis. Now keeping your thumb on its target move your hand up and down as fast as she likes it while she bounces on you. You'll almost look like you are washing a window with that hand movement.

This is a great variation and I have seen several women rocket up off my cock after a while with an intense orgasm. If she pops off your cock cumming, push her over the top by a position change up or use your fingers and mouth to take her to another climax on top of that one.

Six ways from Sunday - The Plow

Not exactly a sexy name for the position, but I call this what it is for no other reason than it looks like you are plowing into her. In fact, I am sure someone somewhere has a nicer name for this, but whatever. Enlighten me if you would like.

This one can require some upper body strength because you will be on your knees and once you are inside her you will be taking her legs, holding them against your body, and then pounding into her by thrusting up and down back and forth. She'll barely have her shoulders on the bed through each upward/forward thrust.

From a woman's perspective, think of yourself lying on the bed on your back. He is in front of and inside you. He holds onto your legs, parted slightly, with the backs of your legs pressed against his abdomen. He is up slightly on his knees with his legs parted slightly, the insides of his thighs slapping against your ass cheeks as he fucks.

Of course, don't get me wrong, I write these posts from a man-plus-woman perspective, but if you can pull it off with the same sex, let me know!