Sugasm #105

This Week’s Picks

Bonbon

“I feel him start; then he groans into my mouth, a deep helpless sound, and I know I’ve got him.”

Domme virginity lost

I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You know that, don’t you, sweet boy?”

Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients

“From my conversations I’ve learned a number of things that have helped me, educated me and surprised me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Belladonna Likes Heroin

Editor’s Choice

Each Mirror has two sides

More Sugasm

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See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

An orgasm faker wannabe

For a long time I never really understood why anyone would feel the need to fake an orgasm. If she couldn't cum or I couldn't get her off for some reason then no biggie as long as the sex was still fun. I didn't understand where the insecurities lie with a guy that couldn't make it happen. Though certainly my favorite part (hence the blog title) there didn't always have to be an orgasm for every encounter.

Then again, I had almost never had it fail to happen under my touch. They would almost always orgasm (or at least cum) and I could always tell when it happened because of the physical signs. I don't mean a hammed performance like Meg Ryan put on. I mean the sudden flush of blood across her skin, the convulsing muscles, her vaginal walls suddenly swelling with blood and becoming tight around my cock, her squirting, or me even getting pushed out while her cervix spasmed. What's more, I'd make sure that my partner knew to make me aware if she didn't get at least one climax. I loved them. For the longest time it somehow never occurred to me that women might enjoy seeing their partner get off and be as sexually fulfilled as they were.

I am not as sensitive down there as most men, so on most encounters it takes a lot of skill and finesse to get me off. Much more work is needed on me than the average guy. I came to realize this had actually turned into a self esteem issue with some of the women I had sex with on a regular basis. They would get off many times but most of the time I would walk away without cumming. I was used to this and have sex for the fun of it, not just so I can cum, so it didn't bother me all that much (not that I wouldn't prefer to cum, given a choice). I didn't imagine what kind of impact it could have on my partner, making her feel inadequate.

It kind of blew up in an emotional mess on a couple of occasions. Men can't effectively fake orgasms so the only thing I could do was to try to reassure that they were good in bed. That it was me, not them. Besides, I have a bad habit of utterly wearing out the women I fuck before I am anywhere near cumming, so after I have finally gotten the animalistic passion out of my system they are typically so out of it they don't have the wherewithal to do much.

I can sort of understand now why some women would fake an orgasm for the benefit of their lover's ego. Whether that ego stroking is just so they can get the crappy sex over with so he will give up or to make him feel like he did good because some times you just can't get off no matter how much you want to. Think this is sound reasoning?

How would/do you feel when you don't get off the man/woman that you have sex with? Not just once, but several times one of you walks away without reaching climax while the other is completely satisfied.

Delaying the inevitable

Sometimes you can have stamina and endurance enough to complete a triathlon but your cock just doesn't want finish a simple ride on the slip 'n slide. There are a number of tricks to use to keep yourself from popping your top earlier than your partner would be thrilled with and I don't mean by doing math lessons in your head or doubling up on condoms. There are much more creative and fun ways of going about the same thing.

Here are a few that you can use on the spot. These involve adding "spice" to give a change of pace to your cock. Incidentally these can add more fun to the experience for both of you:

• The good 'ol porn star dick slap. You know the kind, where he pulls out and lightly bats his cock against her ass, thigh, pussy lips, etc.
  
• The all way in, all way out, and stroke across her slit and clit. Just play with and tease her pussy with your cock for a bit.
• Stop stroking into her (even if that just means slowing it) but don't pull out, work her over with your hands and mouth, start stroking again. Alternate like this.
• Switch positions to give your cock a moment away from his best friend. There are many!
• Fuck at an angle that doesn't hit your glans (the most sensitive part of the penis) dead on.
  

Here are a few that require a bit of forethought:

• Senso sleeves instead of doubling up condoms. These add texture to your cock and unlike condoms, they are re-usable.
  
• X-Scream butter cream from Slumber Parties instead of something like benozocaine cream. Creates a chill sensation. For some women this feels wild but (in my experience) drives down sensitivity a bit for a man.
• A vibrating cock ring can help delay ejaculation. May not help much for some guys. May do just the opposite in fact, so your mileage may vary.
  

If you have already thought of these, or they just didn't work for you, add your own by way of comment.

Giving head without payback

I really love to go down on a woman. One of my favorite things. Many a times I have given head to a gal with no intention of getting anything back and then sending her on her way with a smile on her face. Sometimes I just get a craving for the taste of pussy and the sounds of her enjoying my meal.

I also know some women that enjoy giving head even if they know they won't get the favor returned (whether later or never).

I have to wonder if some of us never got past Freud's psychosexual oral stage. If I am not turned on in the slightest then the smell and taste of fresh pussy will get me going easier than anything.

So here is a little poll for you...



This little blog entry was inspired after reading a post at Polyamorously Perverse titled What To Do With Cum.

Six ways from Sunday - Cowgirl (reversed or otherwise)

This one is more for the women and should be pretty self explanatory from the title. You ride your guy like a cowgirl rides a horse. Hence the phrase, save a horse, ride a cowboy. Guys aren't really in control of this one. It is a good chance to feel fucked by your woman instead of the other way around.

Key word here is "ride", not "grind" ladies. Many guys have experienced it, where their girl decides she wants to ride him but instead just grinds into him. Us guys can't feel jack when you do this. I know it feels great on your clit to grind into his pelvic bone, and if he is long enough, to feel the tip of his cock rub your cervix. Really though, this isn't "fucking" in the true sense of the word. You want to bounce, grind, rock, and slide. If you don't do enough to keep his cock interested it might not stay hard as you'd like it.

Now guys, I did say we aren't really in control of this one, and you aren't, but you can help her out. Use some of the upper body strength most men are common for. Grab her by the ass cheeks and help her move! Bouncing her whole body up and down will really light those thigh and posterior muscles up after a while. This is your chance to do something other than playing with her breasts...or God forbid, just resting your hands on her thighs, which would basically make you as useful to the sex act as a dildo suctioned to a bench.

While doing a typical cowgirl position (not reversed, as in the picture), a variation on this is to lean all the way back and steady yourself on your hands. This causes his cock to position more at your G-spot. Then you bounce up and down in short quick bursts, tapping that hard cock into your G-spot. Guys, for your part in this variation, the top of her slit will be pushed up making her clit more easily accessible. Double her pleasure by taking your wet thumb, and pointing downward, position it on her clit. When you do this your hand should be right over her pelvis. Now keeping your thumb on its target move your hand up and down as fast as she likes it while she bounces on you. You'll almost look like you are washing a window with that hand movement.

This is a great variation and I have seen several women rocket up off my cock after a while with an intense orgasm. If she pops off your cock cumming, push her over the top by a position change up or use your fingers and mouth to take her to another climax on top of that one.

Six ways from Sunday - The Plow

Not exactly a sexy name for the position, but I call this what it is for no other reason than it looks like you are plowing into her. In fact, I am sure someone somewhere has a nicer name for this, but whatever. Enlighten me if you would like.

This one can require some upper body strength because you will be on your knees and once you are inside her you will be taking her legs, holding them against your body, and then pounding into her by thrusting up and down back and forth. She'll barely have her shoulders on the bed through each upward/forward thrust.

From a woman's perspective, think of yourself lying on the bed on your back. He is in front of and inside you. He holds onto your legs, parted slightly, with the backs of your legs pressed against his abdomen. He is up slightly on his knees with his legs parted slightly, the insides of his thighs slapping against your ass cheeks as he fucks.

Of course, don't get me wrong, I write these posts from a man-plus-woman perspective, but if you can pull it off with the same sex, let me know!

Six ways from Sunday - Fucking Sideways

She lays on her side, one leg straight against the bed and the other with her knee up like she has been drinking too much Captain Morgan. You straddle her straight leg and slide in. This is going to require some good ass control to really thrust well.

Forewarning: if she hasn't got much cushin for the pushin then watch out pounding up against that hip bone or be prepared for a sore pelvis. Your best bet for this is to position yourself so that you are angled towards her stomach slightly so that your pelvis comes more in contact with the back of her leg (just don't knee her in the stomach).

I can't confirm this for absolute certainty but it seems to hit her lower deep spot if you get the angle right. Whatever the case may be, it has so far seemed to drive some women absolutely crazy in ways I haven't seen with some other positions.

My conception of "fucking sideways" differs from what most seem to think of it. If you have a better title, or even a tasteful picture of the position, please let me know.

Apparently this is also the name of a drink.

Six ways from Sunday

Ever been fucked six ways from Sunday? Sometimes the best way to get a great set of orgasms is just with great variety. The more stimulation, the more ways, and the more times the better. I'm not talking the Kama Sutra here. A lot of those moves are more meditative and tantric than climactic and orgasmic. That's fine for you if you are going for a soul melding deep emotional experience, but I said "fucked".

There are 100's of positions out there and plenty with diagrams showing how it is done. Wikipedia has a nice entry if you want to read up thoroughly.

I'll be posting some of my favorites that often end up with the best results. Let me know how your personal experiences are with these. Everyone is different and I would be happy to hear what sets off you or your partner!

Just for starters, something basic....

Legs over the shoulders
She is on her back with her legs up and basically over your shoulders, or if she is particularly flexible, behind hers. Either way, her ass is going to be somewhat in the air and you will be driving downwards. This puts gravity on your side (as mentioned elsewhere) so you will have a bonus of being able to go longer provided your arms can keep up the support. Do those push-ups guys!

This position is also great for hitting her G-spot, so if you haven't found it with your cock already then start working on this angle!

The science of sex should never appear as such

The science of sex isn't something I read in a textbook. It is understanding little by little what works, how, and why and having as much fun with that as possible. You'll rarely find me blogging something here unless it is good for the bedroom (or kitchen table, or up against a car in a parking lot, or legs over shoulders ass perched on the dryer, or...)

Yes, for me a woman's body is like a big pleasure puzzle, but don't misunderstand that. The most technical question I have probably ever asked a woman after sex is "Ever done that before?" Everything is just discovery and taking in her reaction. Don't mistake that either. Last thing anyone (guy or girl) wants is someone doing stuff to them like they are a med student writing a research paper on sex. If you go into it with the appearance that you are trying to get it "right" then you have already gotten it wrong. You aren't into her, you are just inside her and she probably won't be into you for very long afterwards no matter how hard you can make her cum.

Three types of friends

When it comes to the opposite sex, it has been my experience that there are three types of friends. Buddies, fuck buddies, and buddies that you can fuck. You can't be in any sort of serious relationship with the person for any of these to fit, mind you.

The buddy: This is the woman whom you know as just your friend and nothing more. Never do you get intimate with her except maybe with the occasional random discussion of sex. She may very well be attractive but for whatever reason you or her or both do not desire to do anything between the sheets unless that involves her crashing at your place from drinking too much. Even then, nothing happens. She might be just like one of the guys in your eyes.

The fuck buddy: This is a woman whom you are on friendly terms with but most of the time you meet up it is for booty calls. You are friendly with her in the bed and rarely do you meet up for any other purpose other than you intend to fuck before you part ways. If the body chemistry runs out, you may turn into buddies, but you can probably just expect a comment on MySpace to say hi every month or so just because you suddenly remembered the other person.

The buddy you can fuck: This woman has the qualities of the buddy and you two can also fuck, but the fucking is far less often than the fuck buddy. You mostly just meet up or hangout like you would with your buddy but on occasion the circumstances are right for a roll in the hay. You are friends first and foremost. In between serious relationships you two might find yourselves meeting up as a convenient source to scratch that mutual itch, knowing you don't have to worry about attachment.